WWJD

WWJD!!!

What Would Jack Do?
Wild weird Jumping Dogs?
Wild Women with Jack Daniels?

Of course I know what people mean by WWJD. Although I'd rather not.

The other evening we pulled up at a red light behind an SUV with an interesting bumper sticker: "If you're close enough to read this, I'm close enough to slam on my brakes and sue you." And, yes, on the other side of the bumper: "WWJD."

Call me crazy, but I don't think He'd sue.

Back in our previous life, before MDH entered seminary, he managed a Christian bookstore. Every year he had the privilege of going to the Christian Booksellers Convention. It was quite an experience. Every item imaginable - and quite a few unimaginable - could be found imprinted with Bible verses, inspirational slogans, and portraits of Jesus and/or angels. In the professional jargon, "Jesus Junk." (God might not make junk, but boy, the religious industry does.) The one item in short supply at the Christian Booksellers Convention was good taste.

The All-time Champion Tacky Christian Product award went to the Disco Christo: a poster of the Ascension that portrayed Jesus in white robe and shining nimbus in the classic John Travolta Saturday Night Fever dance pose.

Since David left the bookstore business to enter seminary in 1984, we've managed to clear our house of just about all the old "Jesus Junk." My mirror no longer proclaims that God loves me, and none of my dishes recite John 4:34. I don't think any of the framed pictures on the wall have scripture verses. When guests enter the front door, they won't see the Bible on the coffee table because it is tucked away in my desk. In fact, it may be entirely possible for someone to wander through our entire home without detecting our religious affiliation!

Alas, we are such backsliders that we don't even own "The Lord's Gym" t-shirts (the picture of a bleeding Jesus bench-pressing the cross just doesn't go with my Nikes.) And we won't be buying our grandkids any Jesus and the Disciples action figures.

It was the movie that set me off. "Talladega Nights, The Ballad of Ricky Bobby." Will Ferrell plays NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby, who doesn't pray to "grown-up Jesus," but to "sweet Baby Jesus" because he likes him better.

When I saw the previews of Ricky Bobby howling to the Sweet Baby Jesus while running down the racetrack in his underwear, I thought it was just the most offensive thing I'd ever seen. Trust me, it's pretty tough to find something bad enough to get this old girl upset. But when I got off on a tirade about it, MDH didn't agree with me. (Imagine that!)

"It's a good thing," David said. "Satire is needed. It's a mirror that forces certain Christians to see how ridiculous they are."

I'm not convinced. It seems to me that the people who need it most won't be particularly sensitive to satire. More likely, they'll start wearing t-shirts praising the sweet baby Jesus.

Don't worry, I'm not going to call on all Clergy Spouses to done their white gloves and march forth to save Christendom from tacky taste. (It's way too late for that.) But I do think it's high time we start a serious discussion on how to respond to what we might call less-than-appealing public expressions of faith. I admit that most of the examples given so far can be laughed off as harmless, if tasteless. We might even celebrate their absurdity the way some people celebrate lava lamps and black velvet portraits of Elvis. In Presbyterian jargon, we can make room at the table for harmless Christian Kitch. (Just don't put it in my kitchen.)

Some Presbyterians believe God created the world in six days, and that the fossils of dinosaurs were deposited by the Flood described in Genesis 7. Okay, they can believe that. Other Presbyterians find no contradiction between their faith in God who created the universe and theories of evolution, quantum physics or any other field of science. That's okay, too. This is what we mean when we talk about being inclusive. We can tolerate different points of view.

The problems arise when one group decides that their view is the only correct view and that all Presbyterians must agree with them. That's not okay.

We have all watched as people promoting "Creationism" and "Intelligent Design" have captured not only the media but also captured school boards and textbook publishers. A growing faction within American Christianity regards scientists and academics as "elitists." They cry out that they are being persecuted while they condemn anyone who disagrees with their extreme views as non-Christian or "secular humanist." These are not instances of tacky taste but demonstrations of an anti-intellectual mentality that is growing in some sectors of American Christianity.

The roots of this anti-intellectualism goes back to the Scopes "Monkey" Trial in Tennesee in 1925. In the trial's aftermath, Fundamentalist Christianity suffered such ridicule that it effectively withdrew into rural areas and did not re-emerge until sometime in the 1970s. As the new "Charismatic Movement" brought Evangelical Christianity to suburbia, fundamentalist authors and preachers found fresh inroads through Christian television, popular music and organizations such as Full Gospel Businessmen and Women Aglow.

While respecting Christian diversity, there are some absurdities that we should NOT tolerate. Intolerance cannot be tolerated. It is not possible to be inclusive of those who demand exclusivity. In spite of our Presbyterian determination to appreciate others within the household of faith, there are some viewpoints that really cannot be included because they are not at all harmless.

Willful ignorance, I believe, is not to be tolerated.

What can we say to Presbyterians who want to promote Creationism or "Intelligent Design"? If engaged in conversation, I believe we not only have a right but a duty to express the long-standing position of the Presbyterian and Reformed Tradition, which is that all truth is God's truth, and scientific knowledge glorifies God.

We can be gracious and tolerant of those who disagree with us. That does not mean that we need to be silent. For example, when someone declares that America is and always has been a Christian nation, we do not need to abandon our own knowledge of American history in a mistaken effort to be polite. It is appropriate to courteously disagree if someone declares that Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were Evangelical Christians. I'm not saying that we ought to get into fiery arguments over whether separation of church and state is written into the U.S. Constitution, but we can let it be known that there is more than one "Christian" point of view.

In a nutshell, I suppose it's okay for anyone to collect all the Jesus Junk they like, for themselves. But I don't have to let them dump it in my kitchen.