The Refrigerator Bible Challenge

Last week our 7 year-old refrigerator died. Very inconsiderate of the thing, and highly suggestive of corporate conspiracy of planned obsolescence. Warning: I definitely feel a rant-and-rave coming on – where are my chill pills? Oh, rats. They’re in the trash along with everything else that spoiled in the frig. II Corinthians 11:1.
I really liked that frig. Not too big, not too small, and with excellent “Energy Star” ratings, it conformed to our Simple Living standards. Philippians 4:11. The freezer was a big drawer that pulled out from the bottom, and it was almond, a nice calm color. Plus it still looked perfectly new. We’d already replaced the icemaker and a couple of produce drawers, so we had invested some faith in it. But, sadly, James 2:17.
We checked the cost of replacement and assumed that repair couldn’t possibly cost that much. II John: 8, right? Wrong. The repair estimate fell within $100 of the price of a 2009 model. Then, oh surprise, the repair guy handed us a coupon good for – you guessed it - $100 if we’d rush right out to buy that 2009 model.
We didn’t see any real choice, short of filing a report with the state’s attorney general’s office. And what would we do for a refrigerator while our tort crawled through court? So, muttering Hebrews 12:4 under our breath, we caved in and bought the 2009 model, ranting the entire time about principles and violations of sustainability.
Did you know that it costs more to buy a refrigerator without water and ice through the door than one with? Our daughter offered no consolation. “Welcome to the 21st Century, Mom. You’re going to love the new frig. Isaiah 55:1-2, KJV.”
Okay. We kept repeating 1 Peter 5:9. On delivery day, I stared one last time at our still pristine dead icebox and thought, “Jude 23!” I pulled out every drawer, shelf, rack and basket then used them to reorganize the kitchen pantry and my craft nook. Did you know you can mount a freezer basket on the wall and hang sewing tools on it? That refrigerator shelves make excellent scrapbooking paper organizers? That vegetable drawers make fine potato bins in the pantry and that door boxes can also be mug shelves for kitchen cabinets? Proverbs 31:10.
By the time the new refrigerator arrived I was feeling much better. Alas, the relief was short-lived. “Sorry, lady, we can’t haul the old unit away without all the parts.” Translation: “We’ll sell it on the 2nd hand market, making money off you coming and going.” Obadiah 1:5.
Do other people really capitulate to this stuff? Matthew 5:40? “No, no,” says we, “your company did not buy this old frig from us. The drawers and shelves are ours.” Conclusion: the husk of the old frig was left on the curb, where it was claimed by someone with a pickup before the next morning. I Thessalonians 5:2. I struggled to convince myself that II Peter 3:10 does not necessarily apply to major appliances.

Sigh. It’s a good story, and will improve with the telling, no doubt. I think our entire experience illustrates the reality of Matthew 10:16 and Colossians 4:5. Lessons learned!


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